Things i owe to my parents

1. My  Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL  DONE ..
“If you’re going to kill each  other, do it outside… I just finished  cleaning.”

2. My Parents taught me  RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come  out of the carpet.”

3. My Parents taught me about TIME  TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m  going to knock you into the middle of next  week!”

4. My Parents taught me  LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s  why.”

5. My Parents taught me MORE  LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that  swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store  with me.”

6. My Parents taught me  FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean  underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My Parents taught me  IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you  something to cry about.”

8. My Parents taught me about the  science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and  eat your supper”

9. My Parents taught me about  CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that  dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My Parents taught me about  STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that  spinach is gone.”

11. My Parents taught me  about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks  as if a tornado went through  it.”

12. My Parents taught me about  HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told  you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE  OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world,  and I can take you  out.”

14. My Parents taught me about  BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting  like your father!”

15. My Parents taught me about  ENVY.
“There are millions of less  fortunate children in this world who don’t have  wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My Parents taught me about  ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get  home.”

17. My Parents taught me about  RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it  when you get home!”

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL  SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing  your eyes, they are going to get stuck that  way.”

19. My Parents taught me  ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you  think I know when you are cold?”

20. My Parents taught me  HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off  your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My Parents  taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If  you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow  up.”

22. My Parents taught me  GENETICS.
“You’re just like your  father.”

23. My Parents taught me about my  ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do  you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My Parents taught me  WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age,  you’ll understand.”

And my favorite:

25. My Parents taught me about  JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and  I hope they turn out just like YOU.

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